There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
I’m pretty sick and tired of living.
me: i’d do anything for you
harry: punch yourself in the face
me: [punches self in face]
harry: didn’t that hurt you?
me: [pulls out brass knuckles]
me: do you want it to hurt me, harry?
ok, some of yall need to chill… some of the things you say aren’t exactly healthy. an abusive relationship isn’t cool, regardless of who it’s with
it’s a quote from an episode of spongebob squarepants